Monday, October 22, 2018

Multi-level Marketing Parody: Guaranteed to Make Millions!

Multi-level marketing parody_graphic of quote about dollars and cents
Multi-level marketing scheme (parody) that will make you MILLIONS!
I have an exciting multi-level marketing scheme that will help you make millions, possibly even billions! All you need is a willing heart, a trusting mind, and $100. That's it.

Do you have all three? I know you do, because you are following me, and that proves that you are a man or woman of great taste and sophistication, which means that you must have a good heart and mind and much more than $100 in your bank account.

How would you like to get your money working for you, instead of you working for your money?

Does This Multi-Level Marketing Plan Sound Too Good to Be True?

When you hear me guarantee that you WILL make money by following this multi-level marketing scheme, does it sound too good to be true? I would have said the same thing, back when I was a loser like you -- NOT! I have definitely NEVER been a loser like YOU! You know why? Because I never hesitated to believe that whatever sounded good just HAD to be true FOR ME!

You see, I got faith . . . faith in myself, and faith in my methods, which have been scientifically proven to work. Do you want proof? Just look at me! I am literally rolling in the dough right now! (And if all this flour messes up my birthday suit, I'll just take a shower and put on something else -- bling, bling, yo!)

If I can do it, so can you -- as long as you do everything I tell you and trust me with your money.

How much money do you want to make? Well, let me turn the question around: how much money are you willing to put to work for you? $100? $1000? $1,000,000? However much money you put to work will have a direct impact on how much money you make! Therefore, if you want to make the as much money as possible, then you should invest as much money as you possibly can in my multi-level marketing campaign.

What is the multi-level marketing parody plan? Simple! Everyone who buys in is guaranteed to make money on their investment (subject to the terms and conditions listed below). I will teach you everything you need to know. Look at me! I've already made my millions! Now, because I'm such a caring and generous person, I want to help you and everyone else make lots of money too!

Just watch this video about my exciting seminar where you can learn more about this can't-miss opportunity! This could be your ticket into a life of significance and success! Space is limited, and seats are filling up fast! Hurry and register, before it's too late!

Multi-level Marketing Plan Video: Guaranteed to Make Millions, Maybe Even Billions!




Important Disclosures about the Multi-Level Marketing Plan Guarantee

Important Disclosures: You are guaranteed to make money; however, there is no guarantee that you will be making the money for yourself. Other terms and conditions may apply, at the sole discretion of the multi-level marketing director. Any promises to you are void where prohibited and prohibited where void, but any and all promises to me are valid anywhere and everywhere. Also, the claim that I have made millions already is technically correct, as I have made millions of such things as cooked grains of rice, which was traded like a currency in prehistoric times. Any aspect of my multi-level marketing plan that appears to be either criminal or fraudulent probably is; however, I am shielded from liability by the statement that this is a multi-level marketing parody. But I can make it real, if you want to give me your money to invest.

Sunday, October 21, 2018

Secret Democratic Playbook Leaked

Award-winning journalist Ronnie Champ has leaked the top-secret Democratic Playbook
The top-secret Democratic Playbook has been leaked! Ronnie Champ, the award-winning journalist (self-awarded the "Ronnie Champ Award for Journalistic Excellence"),  uncovered this shocking document during his undercover investigation into the shadowy world of liberals and Democrats on Facebook, Twitter, and other Social Media.

Ronnie's controversial new book, The Democratic Playbook: the Top-Secret Democratic Plan to Destroy America by Hugging Trees, Killing Babies, and Kicking God out of the Classroom, contains his findings about a vast liberal conspiracy to destroy the world!

Watch this short video, in which Ronnie Champ explains how he discovered the Democratic Playbook and why you need to read it!


As Sherlock Holmes used to say, the game is afoot! The Democrats are up to something sinister, and it is our job to stop them!



If you love America like Ronnie Champ does, please check out his book on Amazon. It's only 99¢ for the Kindle e-Book and just $3.99 for the paperback.

Saturday, October 20, 2018

The Democratic Playbook by Ronnie Champ

Cover Image of The Democratic Playbook: The Top-Secret Liberal Plan to Destroy America by Hugging Trees, Killing Babies, and Kicking God Out of the Classroom, a book of political parody and satire by Ronnie Champ.
The Democratic Playbook by Ronnie Champ

Do you know about the top-secret Democratic Playbook? If you love your country, you cannot afford to be in the dark about what the liberals are up to. While we Conservatives are trying to make America great again, the Democrats are trying to make America gay and godless again.

While I was investigating the Democrats on Facebook and Twitter, I learned about a vast liberal conspiracy to destroy America. At great risk to my own life, I infiltrated the liberal movement and discovered the Top-Secret Democratic Playbook. Because I am fair and balanced, I decided to publish my findings, so that freedom-loving Americans could see for themselves the kind of threat that liberals pose to our way of life.

The Democratic Playbook reveals the secret liberal conspiracy to subvert the sex-drives of America’s manly men, by causing them to want to hug trees instead of hugging hot chicks. Instead of grabbing asses and titties, the sissified men of the future will be grabbing tree bark and pine nuts. Why do the Democrats want men to hug trees instead of hugging sexy honeys? You’ll see.

The Democratic Playbook reveals the secret liberal plot to indoctrinate sexy girls with unnatural desires to save the whales. Save them for what? You’ll see.

The Democratic Playbook also reveals the secret liberal scheme to take away our guns, so they can use those guns to kill fetuses. Imagine millions of unborn babies in front of a Democratic Party firing squad. And what do the Democrats plan to do with all those dead babies? You’ll see.



So check out my new book, The Democratic Playbook: The Top-Secret Liberal Plan to Destroy America by Hugging Trees, Killing Babies, and Kicking God out of the Classroom, which is available as a Kindle e-book (only 99 cents) or paperback (only $3.99) on Amazon. You can also ckeck out my author page on Amazon at amazon.com/author/ronniechamp.

Saturday, July 21, 2018

Preview Brilliant Satire of Trump (e-book)

Free preview of Satire of Trump e-book: image of e-book cover for Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Other Good Ol' Boys (Satire)
Free Preview of Trump Satire
If you enjoy satire and parody, then check out a free preview of Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Other Good Ol' Boys (Satire). This book is a brilliant satire of Donald Trump's leadership style, as well as an entertaining parody of the business-management genre of books (e.g., such "masterpieces" as The One-Minute Manager and Management Is an Art). 

For this week only (through Saturday, July 28, 2018), this book is on sale on Amazon for only 99 cents in the USA and for less than one pound in the UK. You can check out a free preview of the book below.

If you want to learn how to (mis)manage like Trump, read Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Other Good Ol' Boys (Satire). You'll learn how to manipulate people through emotional appeals to racism and fear, how to move on female employees like bitches, how to instigate constant chaos and controversy in the workplace, and how to make yourself rich, while your organization crumbles around you. If you want to thrive in the era of Trump (or at least understand what the era of Trump really means), then you've got to read this book.

Thursday, June 28, 2018

Trump Nominates Pat Robertson to Supreme Court


photo of Trump speaking and announcing that he has nominated Pat Robertson to the Supreme Court
Just minutes ago in an impromptu press conference at the White House, President Trump announced that he had nominated Pat Robertson to the Supreme Court to replace Justice Kennedy, who is set to retire in July.

This announcement was met with stunned silence and audible gasps of horror. Three reporters for the New York Times promptly went into cardiac arrest and had to be rushed to the hospital, while a CNN anchor committed suicide by impaling himself on his camera's tripod.

"Fake news," said Trump, mockingly, as the CNN reporter writhed atop the tripod. "Fake drama. Fake news. Really sad."


Trump was unable to continue his speech, due to angry outbursts and loud weeping from the press. In response, Trump stepped away from the podium, gestured to his press secretary, and yelled, "Have them play the music." Immediately, the Marine Corps Band began to play "Hail to the Chief," and they continued playing this song for several minutes. Meanwhile, Secret Service agents arrested many journalists for disorderly conduct and for allegedly inciting a riot.

After order had been somewhat restored, Trump resumed his speech. "I ask the questions around here. That's how we do these press conferences from now on. Okay? Why shouldn't I nominate Pat Buchanan to the Supreme Court? He graduated near the top of his class from Yale Law School, he served honorably in the Korean War, he started the most successful Christian broadcasting company in the history of the world, and most importantly, it will wrap up the religious vote for me in 2020. No matter how many women come forward to say I had an affair with them and paid them off, or that I grabbed them by the pussy, or that I masturbate to a picture of my own daughter -- which is a total lie, by the way. So you tell me, why shouldn't I nominate Pat Robertson to the Supreme Court?"

"Has he ever passed the bar exam in any state?" asked a reporter for MSNBC.

Trump shook his head and replied, "Fake news. And I'm supposed to be answering the questions around here, not you. This is my press conference." Trump then gave a signal to the band, and they began playing "Hail to the Chief" again. Trump grinned, held up his hand in a Nazi salute, and said, "Pat Robertson is going to bring good Christian values back to the Supreme Court. Pat Robertson is a man who believes in the rule of law, and who believes in having a strong President who has all the power he needs to make his country great again."

As the band continued playing "Hail to the Chief," Trump walked away from the podium and disappeared behind a curtain.

Democratic Senators vowed to block any vote on Mr. Robertson's nomination until after the mid-term elections in November, but Mitch McConnell replied, "The Democrats will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen. We are definitely going to use the nuclear option to make sure this one goes through. I know that God wants Pat Robertson on the Supreme Court, and we Republicans are going to make sure that we don't let God down."


Follow this story as it develops. Learn more about President Trump's nomination of Pat Robertson to the Supreme Court, and other breaking news about President Trump, at RonnieChamp.blogspot.com, or on Twitter (@SatireChamp) at twitter.com/SatireChamp.

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Video about How to Manage Like Trump

Photo of Trump for blog post about video satire about how to manage like Trump (satire)
Want to learn how to manage like Trump? Watch this video to learn more!
Do you want to learn how YOU can become an effective leader like Trump? Do you want to become a better manager and make yourself and your organization great again? Watch this video to learn more!

In this video, Ronnie Champ tells you about the principles of Trump-style management. To manage effectively, you have to leverage the powerful tools of racism, sexism, narcissism, and other ism's to promote yourself and your agenda.



It's all in Ronnie Champ's fantastic new book Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Other Good Ol' Boys (Satire), which can be yours for the bargain price of only $2.99!

Saturday, June 9, 2018

Trump Announces Tariffs Against California

Trump announces heavy tariffs against California
Trump imposes heavy tariffs on California exports

Trump Starts Trade War with California!

Today, President Trump brought the trade war home. In a speech that angered both Republicans and Democrats, Trump announced heavy tariffs on goods and services exported from California to the rest of the United States.

"The time has come to put California in its place," said Trump. "This state has ruined itself with its socialist, new age values, and now it is trying to export its corruption to the other 48 states. For the record, I don't consider North Dakota a state either. One Dakota is enough. I believe that North Dakota and South Dakota don't have enough people to be considered a state, but since South Dakota has Mount Rushmore, I'll give it a pass."

Trump's plan calls for the following tariffs on goods and services that originate in California and that are then sold elsewhere in the Unites States: a 10% levy on agricultural producs, a 15% levy on manufactured goods, a 25% tax on non-political intellectual property (which would include Google searches and downloads from Google Play and the Apple Store), and a 150% tax on what Trump called "all the sissified, political bullshit that California produces."
Trump Announces Tariffs Against California (Satire)_Map of California Border
Trump initiates trade war with California

California Governor Jerry Brown Responds to Trump's Tariff Announcement


California's governor, Jerry Brown, issued a statement calling Trump's tariffs "illegal, immoral, and just the kind of divisive rhetoric that one would expect in a third-world country, not the United States of America."

Trump responded to Jerry Brown's statement by tweet: "Hey Governor Moonbeam (aka @realJerryBrown), under the terms of the new tariffs, you owe the IRS $480,000.00 for that stupid-ass statement you issued on fake-news-loving CNN. That's ten grand for every state that had to hear your pathetic statement. Sad."

What Effect Will Trump's California Tariffs Have?


There will likely be several legal challenges to Trump's new sanctions. The ACLU has already begun gathering plaintiffs for what it's California director calls "the single biggest class-action lawsuit in U.S. history. Potentially, every American is a plaintiff."

According to an unnamed source in the Trump organization, President Trump is hoping that the controversy and chaos generated by the California tariffs will be enough to distract the American public from the Russia investigation and the Stormy Daniels debacle.


For further developments on this story, be sure to follow @SatireChamp on Twitter or on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/ronnie.champ.716.

Monday, May 28, 2018

Excerpt from Wickedly Funny Donald Trump Satire: Mismanagement Is an Art by Ronnie Champ

Photo of book cover of Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Other Good Ol' Boys (Satire)
Mismanagement Is an Art
Here is an excerpt from a wickedly funny satire of Donald Trump and his management style, as well as the absurd leadership and business books that el Trumpo has written (through his ghostwriters -- Trump is functionally illiterate).

It's from the third chapter of the book Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and other Good Ol' Boys (Satire), which is available as an ebook or paperback from Amazon.

But before giving you the excerpt, which is from the third chapter of the book, let me give you some background information about the story.

Background Information about Mismanagement Is an Art


Wally Whitewash is a lot like the young Donald Trump: he comes from a wealthy family who have given him access to lots of lucky breaks, and although he is unintelligent and untalented, he nonetheless oozes self-confidence and charisma. Wally's dad arranges for him to visit a mentor named Peter Panman, who is a lot like the old Donald Trump: he's loud and abrasive; he has a third-grade reading level and a tendency to throw temper-tantrums like a spoiled two-year-old; and he likes to punctuate his angry rants with lots of racist and offensive insults. Peter Panman teaches Wally how to manage like a good ol' boy.

This book turns all the conventional wisdom of management books and business school on its head and shows you how to manage just like Donald Trump. If you read the fable of Wally Whitewash and Peter Panman, you'll learn important lessons like how to double your staff's workloads and quadruple their stress, without any gains in productivity. You'll discover how to put the moves on attractive female employees. You'll find out how to use the Law of Pareto to make 20% of the people do 80% of the work, for no extra pay! And so much more!

So without further ado, here is an excerpt from the chapter in which Wally Whitewash (young Donald Trump) meets Peter Panman (old Donald Trump), who calls himself the 30-second manager (kind of like the One-Minute Manager, but with a much shorter attention span).

Excerpt from Mismanagement Is an Art

Chapter 3: Wally Meets the 30-Second Manager

The next morning, Wally announced himself to Peter Panman’s secretary at 11:48am. He made no apologies for being late.

The secretary frowned and shook her head. “He’s not in yet. Do you want me to call him? Does he know to expect you?”

Wally smiled. “He should be expecting me. The name’s Wally Whitewash.”

The secretary gave Wally a look of recognition. “Ok, I’m Tootsie Whistle, Mr. Panman’s administrative assistant. He did say you’d be coming by. Mr. Panman is on his way, so he should be here soon. You can go ahead and have a seat in his office. Do you want any coffee?”

Wally shook his head. “No coffee for me. Thanks, though.”

He walked back to Mr. Panman’s office and noticed that the desk was very clean and almost totally
empty. Except for a computer monitor, a telephone, and a stack of recent sports magazines, the desk was completely bare. Wally couldn’t see an inbox or an outbox anywhere. On the wall hung three portraits: President Donald Trump, former Alabama Governor George Wallace, and Adolf Hitler.

Wally picked up one of the sports magazines and started reading. Reading was not an easy task for Wally, but he liked looking through the pictures.

Suddenly, he heard a big, booming voice outside the office. He looked up in time to see Mr. Panman bounding through the door. Mr. Panman was a tall, heavyset man, with a large, round head and grayish-blonde hair arranged in an obvious comb-over. He had a grim and resolute expression on his face, but wore a slight, businesslike smile – quite the opposite of Wally’s big, vapid grin.

“Wally Whitewash, pleasure to meet you,” bellowed Mr. Panman, as they shook hands. “I’m Peter Panman, but you can just call me Pete.”

“Great to meet you, Pete,” said Wally. “My dad said you’re a good friend of the family, and that you can teach me a thing or two about managing a business.”

Pete nodded. “That’s right. I am a good friend of your family, and I can teach you a thing or two about managing a business. I trust I know your family well enough to know that you’re an Alabama fan, as well as a fan of good Scotch whiskey.”

“Roll Tide,” responded Wally. “And bottoms up!”

Pete slapped him on the shoulder and laughed. “I knew you was good people. Let me ring Tootsie to bring us each a glass of Scrooge’s 20-year-old, single-malt scotch.

After Tootsie brought them their drinks, Pete and Wally talked about the most recent Alabama football game for a half hour. Then, the conversation drifted towards politics.

“I think they just ought to go ahead and build several walls!” declared Pete. “We need walls on the border, and also walls around all those neighborhoods with third-world people. We got too many third-world people groups in America. We need more immigrants from good countries, like Sweden, Norway, and other former provinces of the Third Reich.”

“I agree!” said Wally. “We need to make America great again!”

“I’ll drink to that!” yelled Pete, raising his glass. Then Pete guzzled the remaining whiskey and slammed his glass on the desk. Pete held up his hand and said, “Wally, your lesson in management has already begun. You notice how we just spent the last 30 minutes engaged in idle chit chat, punctuated with a few racist observations? That’s the first secret of being an effective manager. You got to know how to make small talk, where you talk about bullshit for 30 minutes, and kind of throw in a few insulting remarks about the people you don’t like.

“After you bluster and bloviate for 30 minutes, and your audience has started to nod along like sheep, that’s when you say whatever message you really want to say. You give them a 30-second, oversimplified synopsis of whatever the relevant business at hand is. Because they feel like you’re their friend, and because you’ve already wasted so much time, they don’t want to analyze your logic or question your version of the facts. They just nod and go ‘baaa’ like a bunch of stupid-ass sheep. And then you got them, ready to lead them to the slaughter!”

Pete got up and pointed to a clock on the wall. “You see this here clock? Most people only got about a ten-minute attention span for any sort of serious business. Heck, my attention span is only about 2 minutes, unless I’m watching the Playboy Channel.”

Wally and Pete chuckled like two junior high school boys.

“I call this being a 30-second manager,” Pete continued. “I have 30 seconds of real information, which I want to use for my own agenda. To get my audience to accept my 30 second message, I wrap that message up in 30 minutes of small talk, sprinkled with about a lot of angry, racist nonsense.”

“When you give people the real information, do they ever ask for details?” asked Wally. “Because details scare me. I hate the facts. I’d rather invent my own.”

Pete gave a dismissive wave and replied, “If they do ask any questions, then I just respond by restating their question real slowly and ponderously, and then asking them a few questions with some random buzzwords thrown in for fun. Then they don’t know what in the hell I just said. But because I’m so confident and speak with such certainty, and they don’t want to seem stupid for not understanding, they just nod their heads and go on their way confused about what to do.

“And best of all, when the other person thinks they know what I’ve asked them to do and then does it, but it turns out that it doesn’t work, I get to blame them for misunderstanding me and screwing up. But if what they do goes right, I can make whatever I said somehow fit and take credit for the success, because nobody – not even me – knows what the hell I actually said.”

Wally slapped his knee. “Brilliant!” he declared. “That’s kind of what I’ve been doing my whole life, without really knowing it. But I’m definitely going to use the 30-second manager technique from now on.”

THE FIRST PRINCIPLE OF MANAGEMENT:

A great manager communicates in a way that deadens, rather than sharpens, the listeners mind, because unthinking people are easier to manipulate. You should have a self-serving message that can be stated in 30 seconds or less. But to get people to mindlessly accept your message, you put their brains to sleep. And to put their brains to sleep, you need to conceal your message inside 30 minutes of mindless small talk and meaningless slogans. Wear them down. Then, when you see their eyes glaze over like stupid sheep, you slip in the information you want them to believe. If you communicate this way, you will be able to convince most people of almost anything. 

So now that you have learned the first principle of Trump-style management, would you like to learn more? You can check out the book on Amazon or read previous sample chapters on this blog. Learn how to manage like Trump, and you will quickly make your organization great, just like Trump did for the USFL and Trump Airlines in the 80's.


Video introduction to Mismanagement Is an Art


Tuesday, March 27, 2018

Sample Chapter from Hilarious Trump Satire: Mismanagement Is an Art

photo of book cover and Trump supporter caricature drawing for article with sample chapter from hilarious Trump satire: Mismanagement Is an Art
Sample Chapter of Hilarious Trump Satire: Mismanagement Is an Art
Donald Trump is a big-time joke in need of a serious punchline right across his big, orange face. Bing, bam, boom.

But seriously, folks, if you want good, clean (well, mostly clean), and absurdly funny satire of Donald Trump and his ridiculously incompetent management style, then check out my book Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Other Good Ol' Boys (satire).

I've added a sample chapter below, so you can see what you think.

Sample Chapter from Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Other Good Ol' Boys

Chapter 2: Wally Whitewash Wants to Get Rich

Once upon a time, there was a young man named Wally Whitewash, who wanted to get rich, but he had one small problem. He was not very smart, and he didn’t have any real skills. (Make that two problems.)

But Wally Whitewash did have one thing going for him: he looked cool, his family was rich, and he was white. (Make that three things.) Also, he had a very charming smile, and when he smiled, people liked him. Nobody really knew why they liked him; they just did.

From the time Wally was a young child, people had always liked him. All he had to do was smile, and he won them over.

Of course, it helped that his dad was a successful businessman, that his mom was a former beauty queen, and that both of his parents came from families flush with old money. In addition to inheriting their status, prestige, and social connections, Wally also inherited his winning smile from them. Everybody who knew Wally knew who his parents were, and nobody wanted to make them mad by telling them anything they didn’t want to hear about their beloved son.

Wally could get away with anything. No matter what he did, when he got caught, he would smile that big, vapid smile of his, and everyone would smile and laugh and say, “Come on, Wally, you know you can’t do that.”

And Wally would laugh right along with them and think to himself, “I’m awesome! I can do whatever I want!”

And Wally would do pretty much whatever he wanted. If he ever got into trouble, he just flashed that big, vapid smile, and people gave him a second chance – or even a 200th chance. And if he ever went too far for him to charm his way out of trouble, his dad taught him that when you’re part of the good ol’ boy network, you don’t really have to deal with consequences like regular folks do. Good ol’ boys know how to make their misdeeds disappear.

By the time Wally went to college, he had life all figured out. He was awesome, and so was everyone else who reminded him of himself. They were the winners in the game of life. Everyone else was a loser, and they deserved to lose. They had stupid, lazy parents. They came from shithole countries. They had entitlement mentalities. They were better off at the bottom of society, because they were natural born losers. It was their own damn fault. Wally and the other winners in life didn’t owe those losers a damn thing.

Wally studied business management at Trump Community College, a very prestigious school. He was a mediocre student, but his dad donated lots of money to the school, in exchange for premium season tickets to football and basketball games; and one of the buildings at the school was named after Wally’s great-great-great-great grandfather, who had made a fortune in the slave trade. Given the weight of Wally’s family name, none of the professors could give Wally the grades he actually deserved: straight F’s. So after four years of frat parties, Wally graduated with a solid C average.

Throughout college, Wally got prestigious internships and summer jobs for which he was completely unqualified. But it didn’t matter. Wally had learned how to smile that big, vapid smile of his, while he spoke all the right buzz words with the right confidence and charm, and everybody loved him.

Before Wally graduated, his dad sat him down and talked straight to him about what lay ahead.

“Wally, you don’t have any real skills or intelligence,” he said, with a proud smile. “But so what! Neither do I! And that’s okay, because we live in the United States of America, where being lucky and looking good are all that matter. And who is luckier or better looking than you or me?”

“Nobody,” replied Wally, with a big, vapid grin.

“So I’m going to do for you what my old man did for me,” said Wally’s dad. “I’m going to send you to train under an old friend of mine, who will teach you the art of management: how to make yourself look good, even when you don’t have the slightest clue what you’re doing.

“My friend’s name is Peter Panman. He’s the managing partner of Slumlord Housing, LLP. If you do what he teaches you, you will be able to get rich, even though you’re not that bright and you’re not that good. All that matters is that you speak and act like you own the world.”

Then Wally’s dad sat back in his chair, smiled real big, and spread his arms wide. “Look at me!” he said. “I was a C student. I spent more time in the frat house than I spent in class. I’ve never had an original idea, although I’ve been able to steal a few good ideas from others. If you look only at the actual work I do, my work ethic is atrocious. But I’m a charming, confident, sharp-dressed white man, with a big smile and a strong handshake. And I have gotten rich.”

Wally smiled, as he high-fived his dad. They laughed, and Wally asked, “So when do I go meet Peter Panman?”

“Tomorrow,” his dad said. “Ol’ Pete said he’ll meet you at his office at 11:30, when he gets back from his racquetball game. He’ll show you around a bit and take you to lunch.” His dad’s eyes narrowed, as he placed his hand on Wally’s shoulder. “Now look, son, I know I’ve never told you to take anything seriously before, but please take this seriously. If you want to sham your way through life, like I’ve done, you got to know how to do it. Looking good is much more important in America than actually being good. Pete will teach you how to look good, even when the shit hits the fan – especially when the shit hits the fan.”

If you enjoyed reading about Wally Whitewash (modeled after the young Donald Trump) . . . 

If you enjoyed reading about Wally Whitewash (a caricature of the young Donald Trump) and would like to read more of Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Other Good Ol' Boys (satire), then you can preview more of the book on Amazon, or you can view another sample chapter on this blog.


And let me know what you think! Connect with me on Twitter (@SatireChamp) at https://twitter.com/SatireChamp or on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/Ronnie-Champ-203478423562150/.

Monday, March 26, 2018

What Should I Call My New Book about Donald Trump?


Satire of Trump: picture of Trump with funny wig and lipstick to show that Trump is a whore: possible cover of funny book about Trump
What should I call my new book about Donald Trump? Give me your feedback on Twitter @SatireChamp or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ronnie.champ.716 . . .

Trump Is Making America Great Again (for porn stars and prostitutes and Russian henchmen)!

Trump has done a bang-up job making America great again. We've got porn stars and hookers coming out of the woodwork to share the sordid details of their dalliances with the commander in chief. We've got rumors swirling about possible collusion with the Russians and the Kremlin's fake-news machine to manufacture a Trump victory in the Republican primary and the general election. We've got an Administration that uses Twitter as an official channel for diplomacy. We've got rumors of bedbugs and crabs frolicking around the White House, occasionally joining in the midnight romps between Trump and whatever dime-store hooker currently reminds him of his daughter.

Working Titles of Book about Trump (Satire)

So as I prepare to write my unauthorized account of Trump's Presidency, I am wondering what title would be best. So far, I've narrowed it down to "The Art of the Steal" and "Star Whores: The Emperor Strokes Back." ๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™‰๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ณ

But let me know if you have any ideas for a catchy and compelling title to my next book about The Donald and the reality TV circus that is the Trump Presidency.

And if you haven't yet read my first satire of Trump and his bogus management style, check out Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Other Good Ol' Boys (satire) on Amazon. 

Monday, March 5, 2018

First Chapter from the book Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Other Good Ol' Boys (satire) by Ronnie Champ

Cover photo of the book Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Other Good Ol' Boys (satire) by Ronnie Champ
Check out the first chapter of my fantastic new book about management, Donald Trump style, called Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Other Good Ol' Boys (satire), which is available as a kindle ebook or paperback on Amazon. If you like this introductory chapter and would like to read more, you can view additional sample material from the book on Amazon.

 CHAPTER ONE: BE A WINNER LIKE ME 

Hi, my name is Ronnie Champ. I’m the Professor of Reaganomics at Trump Community College, in Puddville, Alabama. I’m also the managing partner of Pyramid Investment Group (PIG), and I work as a consultant with my own firm, Stay Juiced, Ltd., where I help clients improve their physical and financial health through performance-enhancing dietary supplements.

But most people know me as the author of the international bestseller I Stole Your Cheese: An Amazing Way to Make Millions for Yourself, While Your Company Goes Down in Flames, which is the inspirational story about how I personally profited from the recent financial crisis in America (which I helped cause), even though my company, Ponzi Brothers Investment Bank, went belly up, and many of my investors lost their life savings.

Now, I’ve decided to write a book about management. In this book, I teach you the management strategies of good ol’ boys like me, President Trump, Bill O’Reilly, Strom Thurmond, George Wallace, and Adolf Hitler.

This book builds upon the philosophy of my first book. My philosophy is simple: there are winners and losers in life. Be a winner, and treat everyone else like a loser.

In this book, I teach you how to manage people. I show you the strategies and techniques that I have personally used to sort out the winners (people like me) from the losers (everybody else). If you follow my advice, I personally guarantee that you will be a winner. You will win all the time. You will win so much, you may even get tired of winning.

I guarantee you that my management style works. Just look at me! Just look at President Trump! He’s making America great again, just like he made Eastern Airlines and the USFL great again in the 1980’s.

If you want to make yourself great too, you should follow the strategies I lay out in this book!

These principles of management are so good, that they will definitely work for you. The only way that the advice in this book would not work is if you are actually a loser.

If you are a loser, then you will be S.O.L. You will not really be able to follow my advice, because my advice is for winners. If this advice does not work for you, it is obviously your fault, not mine. I can’t help it if you are a loser.

But for those of you who are winners, you are in for a real treat. To teach you about management principles, I use a fun story about a young man, Wally Whitewash, whose dad sends him to learn management from a true winner and good ol’ boy, Peter Panman.

It’s a short story. It won’t take you long to read it. It will be fun and humorous. But the truths of this book will stay with you for a lifetime. If you apply these principles, you will become a winner, like me, like President Trump, like Bill O’Reilly, like Sean Hannity, like Mein Fรผhrer! Seig Heil!

So without further ado, let me tell you the story of Wally Whitewash . . .




If this introductory chapter of Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Other Good Ol' Boys (satire) interests you enough to want to learn more about how to manage like a real winner (like me and Trump), then check out this book on Amazon, where you can view additional sample portions of this book or reviews.

Connect with Ronnie Champ, author of Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Other Good Ol' Boys (satire)

Visit Ronnie Champ on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/Ronnie-Champ-203478423562150/, Twitter at https://twitter.com/SatireChamp, Google Plus at https://plus.google.com/u/0/b/116928397055053244987/116928397055053244987, or Youtube at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQQLELsP2afnS4C9IBMpq1w?view_as=subscriber. Also, check out Ronnie Champ's World of Satire at https://ronniechampsatire.wordpress.com/ and Ronnie Champ's Amazon author page at https://www.amazon.com/Ronnie-Champ/e/B0792L4H5T.


Saturday, February 17, 2018

Hilarious Satire of Trump: Mismanagement Is an Art by Ronnie Champ

What could be better than a satire of Trump or a satire of management books, like The One-Minute Manager?

How about a satire of BOTH Trump and The One-Minute Manager, rolled into one!

In Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Other Good Ol' Boys (satire), I show you how Trump does it. How he managed to get rich and famous, even while his companies went bankrupt (remember the USFL or Trump Airlines?).

Wally Whitewash: the Young Donald Trump

Meet Wally Whitewash, a real no-talent dickhead and playboy modeled after the young Donald Trump. Wally Whitewash wants to learn how to manage a business and get rich, even while he shits all over the employees and runs the business straight into the ground.

So before giving Wally Whitewash a small loan of a measly million dollars (to help him become  a self-made man), sends Wally to learn management skills from Peter Panman.

Peter Panman: the Old Donald Trump

Peter Panman is a racist, pussy-grabbing asshole, modeled after the old Donald Trump.

Peter Panman teaches Wally Whitewash how to become a 30-second manager, how to handle diversity in the workplace, how to put the moves on female subordinates, how to use religion to manipulate people, and so much more.

Check out Mismanagement Is an Art on Amazon

As Amanda Huginkiss, author of One Night with the President, said, "Nobody is a better manager than Donald Trump. Whether he's managing a brothel, a beauty pageant, buying a one-night-stand with a porn star, or a scheme with the Russians to fix the election in his favor, Trump always manages to come out on top -- except when he decides to go doggy-style with Vladimir Putin . . . but that's a whole other story (Vladimir comes out on top then). And in Mismanagement Is an Art, Ronnie Champ really conveys the essence of Trump and his management style. Read it today!"

And here's some really great news: Mismanagement Is an Art is on sale on Amazon for a limited time for only 99 cents -- that's less than the price of a cheeseburger at McDonalds! This special sale price is only good through February 22, 2018, so hurry and get the book before the price goes back up! Of course, you can also view sample pages of the book for free on Amazon any time.

So check out this hilarious satire of Trump and Trump's management style: Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Other Good Ol' Boys (satire), by me, Ronnie Champ.

Promotional Video from Ronnie Champ for his hilarious satire of Trump: Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Other Good Ol' Boys (satire)


Friday, February 9, 2018

Donald Trump Political Satire by Ronnie Champ (Guest Post by Sameet Buddha)

My very unbiased review of Mismanagement Is an Art (for which I received only 15 Rupees, so I can give you my honest opinion)

Mismanagement Is an Art
teaches you the secret of shit, Trump style.
Hi, my name is Sameet Buddha, and I have got a book that is truly a fantastic Donald Trump political satire to tell you about. It is called Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and other Good Ol' Boys (satire).

This book was written by a very dear friend with masterful intellect that I know quite well -- having made his acquaintance at a brothel a fortnight ago in Dubai (we shared a harlot for much of the evening to save money) -- named Ronnie Champ.

Moreover, my dear friend paid me only 15 rupees as an honorarium, not a bribe, so I promise to make this a very unbiased review of his esteemed book.

You should read Mismanagement Is an Art to learn how to lead Trump-style 

If you have not read Mismanagement Is an Art, you should do so at once. It is a fun and easy read, even if English is not your first language, and even if you are quite drunk (as I was when I agreed to write this review for 15 rupees). 

You must read this book if you want to become a great leader like Trump. As Ronnie Champ points out, Donald Trump has mastered the management styles of great dictators, demagogues, and despots from around the world and throughout history. This is no accident. Donald Trump has been rumored to call Melania Trump his little "Eva Braun" and sleeps with a copy of Hitler's Naughtiest Speeches under his pillow. Trump has watched endless hours of video footage of Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, George Wallace, and even Kim Jong-un. Trump has also used his television show, The Apprentice, to try Machiavellian techniques in a controlled environment before launching his Presidential campaign. Trump is truly a brilliant and innovative leader.

How can you become a great man like Donald Trump? The secret is shit.

So how do you become like Donald Trump? The secret is shit. Trump does not give a shit about people, but he loves to give people shit. Trump does not take any shit, and he doesn't give a shit, but he is always full of shit. That's why his Presidency is one serious shit-storm after another, and why so many Americans feel shitty about their President.

How do you disparage and cast shit upon the majority of Americans, lose the popular vote by three million, and yet win the Presidency and dominate the nation's politics? You have to know how to distinguish between the people who matter and the people who don't.

You have to be able to make alliances with the few people who do matter, but in such a way that you are ready to stab them in the back whenever it will advance your agenda.

Then, you have to constantly shit upon the many people who do not matter. And that requires a lot of shit, because most people do not matter. Therefore, you must be very full of shit, just like Trump. 

Most of all, Trump always knows how to duck at just the right time, whenever the shit hits the proverbial fan.

Master the art of Shit and be a shitty leader, like Trump

So how do you master the art of shit, as Trump has done? You must study the arts and wisdom of shitty leaders. You must also read this amazing book, Mismanagement Is an Art, by Ronnie Champ. 

Ronnie Champ distills wisdom the way Jack Daniels distills whiskey. He takes all the major principles of shitty leadership and management from every aspect of Donald Trump:

  • Donald Trump the shitty businessman, 
  • Donald Trump the shitty entertainer, 
  • Donald Trump the shitty professional playboy, and 
  • Donald Trump the shitty politician. 

Get Mismanagment Is an Art by Ronnie Champ on Amazon

If you want to break out of the ranks of middle management and seize control of your destiny like a true รœbermensch , then you need to read Mismanagement Is an Art. This book is available on Amazon as a kindle eBook or as a paperback You can preview the book for free on Amazon to see if you could benefit from its great wisdom and manly ass-hole-ishness.

This book will help you to become a bigger asshole, so that more shit can pass out of your mouth whenever you speak, and then you can shit on people all the time. But first you must increase your ass-hole-ishness, and Ronnie Champ will show you how it's done.

Now that I have written you my very honest opinion of how good this book is, I shall be off to collect my 15 rupees. Meanwhile, watch this video below, or check out a free preview of Mismanagement Is an Art on Amazon.

Watch this video about the great Donald Trump political satire, Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Other Good Ol' Boys, by Ronnie Champ.
  

Saturday, January 27, 2018

Was Trevor Noah right about Trump being America's first African President?

Donald Trump and Idi Amin

Photo of Idi Amin from
Archives New Zealand
https://www.flickr.com/photos/archivesnz/
So with Donald Trump a year into his Presidency, I was considering this insightful bit of political commentary from Trevor Noah from 2015. According to Mr. Noah, Trump's inflammatory statements and tweets reminded him of speeches from certain African dictators and demagogues, such as Idi Amin of Uganda.

The question I had at the time was whether Trump would be able to live up to these lofty comparisons with accomplished tyrants. It is one thing to treat a third-world country as your own private business, giving jobs and tax breaks and government contracts to all your friends, while targeting your enemies with the help of villainous secret agents from Russia. But could Trump pull this off in The United States of America, arguably the wealthiest and most powerful nation in all the world, with a tradition of a free press and democratic ideals?

Idi Amin's spirit lives on in the Presidency and person of Donald Trump

At this point in Trump's Presidency, I am pleased to say that Trump has succeeded admirably in turning the United States into a banana republic that any third-world dictator would be proud to lead. People get their news from Trump's insults hurled out in 140 characters or less on Twitter, while they decry traditional print journalism as "fake news." Trump's friends in the Kremlin used electronic espionage and shadowy counter-intelligence on social media to tip the scales of the election towards their man in Washington, Donald J. Trump. And Trump has encouraged violence against protesters and minorities, and he has praised the perpetrators of such violence.

In a word, Trump has masterfully implemented the leadership strategies and personal philosophy of Idi Amin. He has truly become America's first African President.

Video from the Daily Show of Trevor Noah comparing Donald Trump to African Presidents like Idi Amin

So check out this video from the Daily Show, in which Trevor Noah accurately predicted that Trump would accomplish all this as President. President Obama's father was African, but President Obama led America like a traditional first-world, Western European head of state. But it has been Trump who succeeded in truly becoming America's first African President. Idi Amin would be proud to see that his legacy lives on in the Presidency and person of Donald J. Trump.


Saturday, January 20, 2018

Donald Trump's Stormey-gate: Trump's $130,000.00 one-night-stand

Stormey Daniels:
Trump's $130,000.00 one-night-stand!
Whatever Donald Trump does -- whether he's having a one-night-stand with a porn star or jumping feet-first into the airline business -- Trump does it big, sparing no expense. So it's no surprise Trump paid $130,000.00 for a "yuge" night with porn star Stormey Daniels. In fact, Trump liked her so much, he told her she reminded him of his own daughter. Classic Trump.

With Donald Trump as President, it's hard to come up with political satire that's crazier than the stuff Trump actually does and says.

Although the story of Donald Trump's $130,000.00 one-night-stand with porn actress Stormey Daniels dates back to 2011, the details are only now starting to become public.

So Trump had a fling with this porn star shortly after his son was born, and then he paid her $130,000.00 to keep her from talking . . . But he didn't buy her silence in time to stop her from telling the salacious details to "In Touch" Magazine. And now the story of their brief affair are coming out.

Some are funny. Some disturbing. And some downright sick.

In this video from The Late Show, Steven Colbert gives you the highlights of this crazy drama.



Apparently, Trump really liked this gal. While they were making out, he complimented her by comparing her favorably to . . . his own daughter. Yeesh! I guess it's not the first time Trump has made some kind of perverse reference to his daughter in a sexual context.

Make America great, right?!

Take the poll at the bottom of this page about what you find most sick about Stormey-gate.

Learn more about Stormey Daniels at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stormy_Daniels.

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Other Good Ol' Boys (satire)

Hi, everyone! My name is Ronnie Champ. I'm the undistinguished professor of Reaganomics and Voodoo Economics at Trump Community College in Puddville, Alabama. I'm also a fund manager for Pyramid Investment Group (PIG), and I own Stay Juiced Consulting, Ltd., which is my consulting firm that helps clients build wealth and increase fitness through performance-enhancing dietary supplements.
"Self Portrait" by Ronnie Champ (2016)

Leadership and Management Trump-Style

I've been interested in leadership and management for some time, and I'm a big fan of Mein Fรผhrer -- I mean, my President, Donald Trump, and the way Trump is making America great again. So I decided to write a book about management using lessons draw from Trump's Presidency, as well as his management of various businesses, including Trump Airlines and the USFL. I wanted to show how it is possible to be unintelligent and untalented and ruin a business from within, yet make a ton of money for yourself regardless.

Check out My Book on How to Make Money and Get Ahead While You Mismanage Your Organization -- Just Like Donald Trump


If you want to learn how to manage people the way Trump does, you've got to read my new book: Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Other Good Ol' Boys (satire).

You can also visit my author page on Amazon at amazon.com/author/ronniechamphttps://www.amazon.com/author/ronniechamp, or visit Ronnie Champ's World of Satire (new site) at RonnieChampSatire.wordpress.com.

Here's a video about Mismanagement Is an Art: Lessons in Management from Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, and Other Good Ol' Boys (satire):



#DonaldTrumpPoliticalSatire #SatireOfTrump #MismanagementIsAnArt

Donald Trump political satire elsewhere on the web:

From the New Yorker: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report

From the Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/news/donald-trump/

Humorist Daniel D's New Crazy Comedy Podcast

The New Crazy Comedy, Humor & Satire Podcast by Daniel D For those of you who enjoy the very absurd humor and weird satire of Ronn...